‭Dating, Dress Rules and Notes to Self

Maybe its a southern thing or maybe just a "me" thing, but as I go about my daily business, I tend to dress a little on the casual side, especially when I'm not working or due to go anywhere I deem "special". Let me explain . . . there are times when I just don't feel the need to get dressed with full makeup when I'm running to the local grocery store, gas station or the gym. I feel that this is a "waste" of makeup, wear on my "good" clothes and that my day to day errands can be done in a pair of tennis shoes. Pop on a trucker hat and I'm out! I've heard of this type of behavior referred to as "roll and go"--roll out of bed and go out the door!

This doesn't mean that my clothing is torn, the front of my shirt is smeared with an unclassified substance, or things are mis-matched. It just means, I quickly go into the building for a purpose and not intent on socializing. I call it, "Being invisible". I even get treated as if I'm not seen! It's an unspoken "code" that others pick up on. And to make an excuse for my lack of makeup, I act as if I'm either running to or from the gym. I pull down the hat brim, don my favorite aviator sunglasses  and slather on the lipstick.

There's nothing wrong with a little casual dress to go to the store for a quick trip. Our clothing "rules" are so relaxed that we are wearing pajamas to the grocery store and shower sandals to places other than the locker room. But what if you want to look your best? I mean, everything has it's intended purpose, but where does "casual wear"end and "date wear"begin?

For dating and dress, I have my own little checklist of dos and don'ts:

Back in the 80s when I was dating in high school or college, I took hours getting ready. Everything had to be in place--every crease right, every color coordinated. And 9 times out of 10, my dates would look as if they took a minute or two as well to look in the mirror on the way out. Then a few years ago when I was in the California dating scene, my whole idea of "getting ready for a date" was turned on it's axis. After spending all AM getting scrubbed and dressed for a PM date, I walk into a nice restaurant greeted by my blind date wearing a Hawaiian shirt, baggy shorts and, oh yeah, shower sandals--the (un)official uniform of southern California. If I'd known this, I would have skipped shaving my legs. Yes, definitely skipped the razor in the shower, but kept the shoes. During my entire meal, I was forced to watch my date's hairy toes wiggle and snag on the table linens while eating my desert.  Note to self: No matter how cute you think your feet are--flip flops are not the dating footwear of choice when eating Creme Brule.

Since that date didn't go as planned, I thought I'd take my mother's advice: Meet your potential mate at church. Since the current attendees at my place of worship weren't working out, I decided to switch the scenario a bit. The next time the online dating service matched me, I would have him meet me at church. Clever, right? As a little girl who got dressed up from head to toe to go to church, I once again prepared to hear something holy in my finest "Sunday Go To Meeting" clothes while staring into the eyes of my new love. I could hear the jealous whispers now!  I waited outside on the steps of the church for about 20 minutes when I noticed . . . yes, that guy looks vaguely familiar . . . ugh! Wearing what's formally known as a wife beater and hat turned sideways. That dating site should've given my back my money! Or at least a clothing discount! Note to self: Your idea of what's appropriate dress in certain situations is not always the case--either ask or tell. More importantly, not all whispers are the "jealous of my new man" type of whisper!

Could we ever return to a time when it really meant something to be that "sharp dressed (wo)man"? In  the 1940's and '50's it sure seemed that way. My only reference to former date and dressing attitudes are pictures of my grandparents, and the television show, "Mad Men" but no self-respecting woman would ever leave her house without her pill-box hat and white gloves--to pick up a man or a bag of mangos.

Some women and men who try too hard. For example, in supermarkets and other "casual", or potential date-meeting places, I've seen women wear Carmen Miranda open toed sandals to do their shopping, thinking they are on a new reality show, the "Housewives of (fill in the blank)". Their feet, different shades of pinched red and their toes gripping the front as if to keep their mule from flipping off and landing into the fresh veggie display. A friend of mine calls this "Toe Suicide"--the toes are making a break for it--jumping off the end of the shoe. Again, nothing wrong with putting your best dressed foot forward--as long as that foot isn't squeezed into a pump two sizes too small. Once this year, I used gym equipment after a man who left puddles of cologne instead of sweat on the machines, hoping I guess that it would be the perfect body odor cover . . . hum . . . not so much. Note to self: When possible, bring a comfortable change of shoe along for the ride. (You'll thank me for this!) Oh and, don't wear so much perfume that your scent lingers long after you're gone!

Maybe the 70's are to blame for our casual attitude toward dress and dating. Yeah man, "free love" and tye-dye! A guy I was once set up with makes his own tye-dyed t-shirts. During our ill-fitted date, he asked with doe-eyed abandon, "Have you done mushrooms? I think everyone should try 'schrooms!" Well, I might have considered dating Jerry Garcia and wearing Mukluks, but the closest thing I've come to that scenario is wearing toe socks while scarfing Ben and  Jerry's "Cherry Garcia" ice cream after a bad date!  No thanks! I'm good!

What's Fair Is . . . Fair?

So, I’m at my local grocery store yesterday, getting ready to buy a gallon of 2% milk. I’m looking around for a short line. It’s been a long, hot day—I want to make this a quick trip. Do I get in the long line of people with similar item count or do I go to the short(er) line where the carts are packed? I decide on the latter. There is approx 3 people ahead of me—no who am I kidding, there ARE 3 people ahead of me, I have plenty of time to count them and count the number of items in their cart . . . let’s see, the red headed lady at the front has  . . how many palates of juice boxes . . . hum, that light on the ceiling is out . . . oooh,  an new flavor of Trident gum . . . gosh, the guy in front of me really needs a haircut or baseball cap or something . . . yes, there’s a speck of paint or dandruff on his shoulder. Red is moving toward her purse . . . will it be a check or plastic or paper . . . the world waits  . . . and waits. I feel a slight bump on my left shin. I’m being assaulted with a loose shopping cart. It’s a man and his family getting in line behind me. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you!” I’m thinking as I give him a half smile, “I’m bad luck today! You may want to get in another line—ANY other line!” I move a ½ step. Another lost soul gets in line behind the man behind me. I’m starting to feel claustrophobic.  There’s nowhere to turn! I look over at the longer line and the lady I would have been behind is checking out! Now I’m trapped! Ugh! I picked the wrong line! Now my patience is running thin . . . come on Red! Please don’t answer your phone and slow us down even more! Someone comes from around the corner, weaving through our line. It’s Red’s daughter with another armful. “I like this store! It’s convenient”, I keep reminding myself!  Thoughts wonder to friends and family who have told me that they have left carts of food just sitting in the aisles because they have become so frustrated on the wait. I may have to join them with this story. And who’s doing who a favor on those self-serve checkouts? If I’m going to check myself out, I think I deserve workman’s comp if I snag a finger on the barcode reader. Ah, Red’s done and Bad-Hair Guy is up.  Ok . . . don’t lose your cool, Janie! It’s not so bad! I start to zone out again . . . Jennifer Anniston looks so pretty on that rag cover! Note to self, get hair done . . .

The chocolate bars are calling out to me when I am jolted into reality—“Line 8 is open with no waiting!” 

Blog O' The Week

Please find me at either: janieesrandomnotes.blogspot.com or
janiesrandomnotes.blogspot.com

"Don't know what you've got, 'til it's gone!" (aka: Decisions, decisions!")

Choices! I love 'em! And I loath 'em! Why is it every time I achieve or obtain something I (think I) want--trying for months or even years to fulfill what I'm sure would be a positive goal, the minute I get that "thing"--I change my mind? For the purposes of this blog, I'm talking career vs. job vs. independence vs. part-time. It's like "been there, done that. NEXT!" Ever since I can remember, I've loved the idea of being on television as a broadcaster or feel-good news reporter (post production manager @ Fox Broadcasting). I've always loved writing (many books I've started). I've love music (karaoke and much more). I love meeting people (casino/hotel jobs). On one hand, I like being told what to do or say and on the other, I love the freedom of making my own decisions. While driving to work this morning to a full-time position, I just kept thinking about how great it would be to go part-time. When I was in a part-time position, I kept thinking how much I'd love to get a full-time position and have a real "career". And to take it even further, I've been toying around with the idea of singing/writing and starting my own side business again. As I look in my closet trying to pick out something to wear my eye catches a mix of colorful balls of yarn and unraveled attempts at scarves--am I ever going to finish what I've started?!

This year, my birthday came and went and I didn't make my usual fuss. Silently I thought--I've got to get my book published before I'm 50! Yet, since April, this is the first time I've made an effort to sit down and write. I think about my brother often with his job traveling from TX to NY on a weekly basis, who has kids and plays guitar in a band (and yes, they have regular gigs and are VERY good!) and think, where the heck did my motivation and energy go?!  As far as making decisions, it's hard enough for me to decide what to wear in the morning--how can I figure out what to do for the rest of my life? It's a good thing I wear a uniform to work.

Lovin' you the most,

Janie E.

And while you're at it, check out "Undead Joe Trio" (my bro's in this band):

http://www.undeadjoe.com/fr_home.cfm