"Don't know what you've got, 'til it's gone!" (aka: Decisions, decisions!")

Choices! I love 'em! And I loath 'em! Why is it every time I achieve or obtain something I (think I) want--trying for months or even years to fulfill what I'm sure would be a positive goal, the minute I get that "thing"--I change my mind? For the purposes of this blog, I'm talking career vs. job vs. independence vs. part-time. It's like "been there, done that. NEXT!" Ever since I can remember, I've loved the idea of being on television as a broadcaster or feel-good news reporter (post production manager @ Fox Broadcasting). I've always loved writing (many books I've started). I've love music (karaoke and much more). I love meeting people (casino/hotel jobs). On one hand, I like being told what to do or say and on the other, I love the freedom of making my own decisions. While driving to work this morning to a full-time position, I just kept thinking about how great it would be to go part-time. When I was in a part-time position, I kept thinking how much I'd love to get a full-time position and have a real "career". And to take it even further, I've been toying around with the idea of singing/writing and starting my own side business again. As I look in my closet trying to pick out something to wear my eye catches a mix of colorful balls of yarn and unraveled attempts at scarves--am I ever going to finish what I've started?!
This year, my birthday came and went and I didn't make my usual fuss. Silently I thought--I've got to get my book published before I'm 50! Yet, since April, this is the first time I've made an effort to sit down and write. I think about my brother often with his job traveling from TX to NY on a weekly basis, who has kids and plays guitar in a band (and yes, they have regular gigs and are VERY good!) and think, where the heck did my motivation and energy go?!  As far as making decisions, it's hard enough for me to decide what to wear in the morning--how can I figure out what to do for the rest of my life? It's a good thing I wear a uniform to work.
Lovin' you the most,
Janie E.
And while you're at it, check out "Undead Joe Trio" (my bro's in this band):
http://www.undeadjoe.com/fr_home.cfm